Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Joy and Pain

So much going on, too much to even write about. I have been doing pretty well lately focusing on my relationship with God and learning to love the life I have right now. Steven and I have grown so much I can't even begin to describe. With that said, the last couple days have been extra terrible...I am having the worst period of my life. With having endometriosis comes wonderful periods that are debilitating and horrid. It is hard to stay positive in the midst of my version of hell. God has taken it upon Himself to challenge me during these few days...great timing I know. I found out Sunday that some friends of ours are pregnant with their second child together. That is two babies in the time that we have been trying for least that is what my heart that was breaking in two was saying but my mind was stronger. I stepped back from the computer and continued to repeat,"I trust you Lord that you have a plan for Steven and I. Thank you for the blessings you have given our friends" over and over and over I said this to myself and in a matter of time the pain in my heart began to subside. I find it interesting that God gives us some of our hardest challenges during the toughest time. I am continuing to read my book, slowly but surely and it is speaking right to my heart. I so badly want God's favor over my life. I am focusing on giving myself over completely to Him.

Battles are not won on the basis of your strength or your enemy's size. You win or lose on the basis of your relationship with God~Tommy Tenney

Infertility and sorrow are my enemy's but my God is bigger and through Him my Sorrow has been turned to Joy and soon I will have a baby to fill our arms!