By far the hardest thing for me to do is let go of what my expectations for my life were and instead let God makes my plans. If you would have told me that I would be 27 and married for 8 years without children I would have laughed at you. I do realize I am not 27 and also have not been married 8 years yet but I will be both of those without a baby to hold. CRAZY! How do you let go of plans that you have had for yourself for so long? How do I let go and let God instead? I can't quite explain the pain and devastation I feel right now but no one could understand without feeling it first hand. So I won't even try to explain.
Father, take my plans, take my expectations and take my whole heart. Psalm 28:7 says, The lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst in songs of thanksgiving.
The Lord is my strength when my pain feels to much for me, and my shield from others who should just choose not to say anything at all:) and I do trust Him with my whole heart. I will soon be singing songs of thanksgiving once my heart stops breaking, which it will!
I lay all of this at your feet Father! Take my pain from me. Fill me back up with Hope of your promise!