Blue

Feeling blue....my heart aches everyday but today it just seems that it won't stop. Things have been going pretty well lately but I just feel down. Thinking of waiting another year can be very hard to swallow and today I can't handle the thought of it. The good news is that tomorrow will most likely be a better day for me. I have now been on my support site for so long that some of the women who had been trying have already had their babies and are now back trying again and here I am still on Pause. Lord please push play, I'm begging you. I don't know how many more Father's days I can endure. I feel such guilt not being able to give Steven a baby. A lady congratulated me yesterday on the Good News...of which I was super confused of, turns out the poor thing confused me with my sister:) I was sad but felt worse for the lady because I know she felt just awful. I am praying for a better rest of the day and possible a better day tomorrow.