In the waiting room of Seattle reproductive waking to be taken back for my transfer. They told us 11 but apparently it's at 11:30. Totally fine except that they told me to come with a full bladder and there was no way I could make it. So they has me empty my bladder and start drinking again. We are both so hopeful that this is our miracle! Still don't know how many have made it to today but we will know very soon!! So many thoughts that I am refusing to allow to surface. Praying against negative thoughts. Well off to get my blood drawn and then hopefully it will be our turn soon!!!
Be back soon!!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Our new Journey
Well here is is....Almost 5 years to the day that we started trying to have a baby and I can officially say we are doing IVF!!! I am so excited and am trying to enjoy every part of it. Now I don't think I even need to mention that it really isn't a fun process but I'm trying to enjoy! It has been 4 years since we were first told that we would need to do IVF and Steven has spent the last 4 years trying to prove the doctors wrong:) So how did we end up here?!?
I have recently been having abnormally horrible periods, they are normally bad but not like this. Steven hates to see me in pain so we made an appointment to go into Seattle Reproductive Medicine again. When we got there we were given 3 options: Surgery with hormone therapy after, hormone therapy alone or IVF. All three of those options did not seem terribly wonderful but we left the office and had to make a decision. They prescribed me birth control pills since that is step one of the IVF process and we were on our way out the door. Steven and I went our separate ways to work with the lingering decision upon us. I sent him a text later that day asking if he wanted me to fill the BC pills and to my surprise, he said yes! And then to my surprise again he said he wanted me to start taking them!!! And after that everything just kept rolling! WE did all the necessary tests and steps to get everything ready. We got our loan by the grace of God and then we were on our way.
I am on day 6 of my shots and things are going very well. I had my first scan yesterday and I had 30 follicles..30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To put that in perspective, woman have on average one a month! So I am being monitored really carefully(I go back tomorrow morning) to get checked again.
Tentative Timeline:
Tomorrow scan and blood work:
6/10- scan and blood work
Possible more scans after that
6/14- 50% chance of egg retrieval!!!!!!!!!
6/19- FATHERS DAY Embryo Transfer!!!!
6/28- Blood draw to see if I'm pregnant!
Everything is happening so fast! Shots are going remarkably well, it is really hard to mentally give them but physically a piece of cake. I am keeping my emotions under control the best I can. The only real side effects I am having are heightened mood swings, bloating and some pain from my overly big ovaries, and fatigue. I will take all those and more when it results in a miracle baby.
There is so much more to write but I wanted to get this down and then I can break it apart as the days come. Secret: I am also doing youtube videos to help other Christian women going through the same thing. I haven't told Steven about my youtube channel yet but that's alright! If you want to watch my user name is hopeforamiraclesoon.
So please be praying for us. We prepaid for 4 rounds of IVF but are believing it will happen the first time!
Ill keep you updated!
I have recently been having abnormally horrible periods, they are normally bad but not like this. Steven hates to see me in pain so we made an appointment to go into Seattle Reproductive Medicine again. When we got there we were given 3 options: Surgery with hormone therapy after, hormone therapy alone or IVF. All three of those options did not seem terribly wonderful but we left the office and had to make a decision. They prescribed me birth control pills since that is step one of the IVF process and we were on our way out the door. Steven and I went our separate ways to work with the lingering decision upon us. I sent him a text later that day asking if he wanted me to fill the BC pills and to my surprise, he said yes! And then to my surprise again he said he wanted me to start taking them!!! And after that everything just kept rolling! WE did all the necessary tests and steps to get everything ready. We got our loan by the grace of God and then we were on our way.
I am on day 6 of my shots and things are going very well. I had my first scan yesterday and I had 30 follicles..30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To put that in perspective, woman have on average one a month! So I am being monitored really carefully(I go back tomorrow morning) to get checked again.
Tentative Timeline:
Tomorrow scan and blood work:
6/10- scan and blood work
Possible more scans after that
6/14- 50% chance of egg retrieval!!!!!!!!!
6/19- FATHERS DAY Embryo Transfer!!!!
6/28- Blood draw to see if I'm pregnant!
Everything is happening so fast! Shots are going remarkably well, it is really hard to mentally give them but physically a piece of cake. I am keeping my emotions under control the best I can. The only real side effects I am having are heightened mood swings, bloating and some pain from my overly big ovaries, and fatigue. I will take all those and more when it results in a miracle baby.
There is so much more to write but I wanted to get this down and then I can break it apart as the days come. Secret: I am also doing youtube videos to help other Christian women going through the same thing. I haven't told Steven about my youtube channel yet but that's alright! If you want to watch my user name is hopeforamiraclesoon.
So please be praying for us. We prepaid for 4 rounds of IVF but are believing it will happen the first time!
Ill keep you updated!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Ugh....
Feeling sad today. Mother's Day is coming up and I just can't begin to explain how painful that day is. How could it be my 5Th Mother's day with no baby. Although it is possible for me to be pregnant right now but to be honest it feels like every other cycle so I am doubtful. What if's are so hard to deal with. Is there a point to even writing them down? probably not. Not sure why I feel so sensitive today but I do. Plain and simple. So that means pray for Steven....:)
Friday, April 22, 2011
April adventures
We are in our new house finally. We have all of our stuff here but everything isn't quite put away;) I feel so blessed to have this home and can't wait to see what God has planned for us living out in this area. It does feel a bit odd to be in house this big with only the two of us. I have put nothing in the bedroom next to the master because I am saving that for a nursery. I need to be diligent in praying over that room when I walk by it. i told Steven I felt weird having all this space with only us, which he replied, "well I plan on filling this house with lots of children, I don't know about you"! His faith shouldn't surprise me but it sure refreshes my hope!
Our best friends are having their baby in less then a month and I honestly couldn't be more excited. God has protected my so much with this situation. I still have moments of sadness when I see her cute belly or Steven wants to feel the baby move but I have so much love for that baby already. Thank you Jesus for your Grace during this time. continue to be beside me and hold my heart when it begins to break.
Being hopeful that this could be our month. Praying we will be decorating that nursery very soon! Lord heal me and allow me to carry a baby. I am on my knees begging for a miracle only because I know you can heal!
Well off to bed. I have an Easter meeting tomorrow to get ready for our 20,000 egg hunt for the community! Love serving others for God's glory.
Love to all of you!
PS just hit spellcheck and I had no misspelling....that's unheard of for me!
Our best friends are having their baby in less then a month and I honestly couldn't be more excited. God has protected my so much with this situation. I still have moments of sadness when I see her cute belly or Steven wants to feel the baby move but I have so much love for that baby already. Thank you Jesus for your Grace during this time. continue to be beside me and hold my heart when it begins to break.
Being hopeful that this could be our month. Praying we will be decorating that nursery very soon! Lord heal me and allow me to carry a baby. I am on my knees begging for a miracle only because I know you can heal!
Well off to bed. I have an Easter meeting tomorrow to get ready for our 20,000 egg hunt for the community! Love serving others for God's glory.
Love to all of you!
PS just hit spellcheck and I had no misspelling....that's unheard of for me!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Continuing to press forward
This cycle has been relatively easy. I was upset as usual but I feel with God's strength I am able to move quickly through the sadness. A huge thank you to all who continue to pray for us. I think once we are in our new house and things calm down we will be able to re-group and decide what to do next. When we fasted last we focused on asking God to work a miracle, while I still am believing for that I feel like we need to come to God with an open mind to any and all avenues to become parents. I talked a little to Steven about this yesterday only because he is already wanting to purchase next years ski passes and I am a little up in the air about what to do. He is so sweet though, he told me yesterday that he loves his life with me and could truly be happy with just us forever. I love him for saying that but wish I could say the same. Does that mean I love him less? I hope not. So he said that we should talk once we are in the house about whether or not we should fast again or what have you. So that's the update on that.
Onto something a little more exciting, our house should be done soon! We have been furniture shopping like crazy or should I say furniture looking.....furniture shopping has turned into how I feel about car and tv shopping, VERY MUCH DISLIKE IT! You go into the stores and they surround you with people that want to help and make money, so they follow you around like a puppy. So far, we have bought new dishes from Ikea and a painting of our ski resort.....hmmmm we have to get serious! Oh and I did pick this pillow up, I love love it!
xoxo
Onto something a little more exciting, our house should be done soon! We have been furniture shopping like crazy or should I say furniture looking.....furniture shopping has turned into how I feel about car and tv shopping, VERY MUCH DISLIKE IT! You go into the stores and they surround you with people that want to help and make money, so they follow you around like a puppy. So far, we have bought new dishes from Ikea and a painting of our ski resort.....hmmmm we have to get serious! Oh and I did pick this pillow up, I love love it!
xoxo
Friday, April 1, 2011
April tears bring May cheers....hopefully
First month that I thought I was pregnant but didn't tell anyone. Steven hadn't even asked if I was getting close to knowing. I was suppose to start yesterday but didn't and I managed to not even test but I am having a little girls night tonight and would like a glass of wine so I tested and sure enough it was negative. I can't even tell you how long I stare at the test....am I even looking in the right place for a second line? My eyes tricked me this morning, like an awful April fools joke and I could have sworn I saw a second line, but looked for another 20 min and sure enough nothing. I heart actually was in my throat when I thought I saw it and then quickly dropped when I realized once again I was seeing things. Why must it be negative yet I am late? Why, why so cruel? I know I'm not pregnant so why can't my cycle just be normal and start so I can get on with another month? I swear my mind can stop my cycle, that is mostly why I test. It seems once I see the negative my body relaxes and then I start. Please Lord make this come quickly, don't let this drag on. This is exactly why I need a support group. While my friends are great and so supportive(thank you Becki) they can't really understand the pain. Is this misery wanting company or just pain needing an outlet? Lord let my heart be set on only you. Take this pain, use it for something great.
So I just checked my email and RESOLVE emailed back so I will have that to look into. And on a happier note because the blog can be sooooo depressing: I now have a kitchen...and we are very close to moving in! Here is a picture but kind of blurry..
Praying to make it through the day without completely losing it.
So I just checked my email and RESOLVE emailed back so I will have that to look into. And on a happier note because the blog can be sooooo depressing: I now have a kitchen...and we are very close to moving in! Here is a picture but kind of blurry..
Praying to make it through the day without completely losing it.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Walking in Faith
For about 1 year I have been feeling a nudge by the Lord to reach out to others suffering with infertility. Everytime I thought about doing it, I assummed as soon as I did I would then get pregnant and wouldn't be able to fulfill my support. I know longer am letting that hold me back. I may get pregnant right after starting a support group but my knoweldge and experience will not change. I still have many doubts that linger in which I know are from the devil:
Will anyone take you serious being so young?
Have you suffered long enough to help others?
Will you have the right words to say?
Will anyone show up?
I am choosing to push these aside and mover forward. I am attending our New Leaders Orientation on April 17th and the church and I also emailed RESOLVE which is the national infertility support group and asked for the information to start a group in my area. Praying that the Lord will pave the path for me.
Still beleiving everday for a miracle baby. God is so good and He truly knows my hearts desire and I know that desire will be fulfilled in the right time.
Will anyone take you serious being so young?
Have you suffered long enough to help others?
Will you have the right words to say?
Will anyone show up?
I am choosing to push these aside and mover forward. I am attending our New Leaders Orientation on April 17th and the church and I also emailed RESOLVE which is the national infertility support group and asked for the information to start a group in my area. Praying that the Lord will pave the path for me.
Still beleiving everday for a miracle baby. God is so good and He truly knows my hearts desire and I know that desire will be fulfilled in the right time.
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