Here I am the afternoon before my blood test. I have very mixed feelings right now. Before I start I do understand that I have never been pregnant so I don't know what it feels like but what I do know is that I know what it feels like to not be pregnant. Even before the transfer I was having some cramping and that has never stopped. Over the last few days I have had consistent cramping. By consistent I mean everyday. I don't have cramping all the time but this is what it normally feels like before I start my period. I also know that other women have felt that without a shadow of doubt that they were going to start their period yet they never did and ended up pregnant. So yup all I can do is wait until tomorrow. I go in at 8am and they say they call anywhere form 12-5. So tomorrow we just wait as well. Steven was suppose to work yesterday and for some reason I was happy about that. I felt like I would do better alone, but he called this morning and got the day off. I think it is so very sweet that he wants to be with me but it just seemed a little easier doing it alone:)
So I wait on the Lord. I am praying that this is God's timing for us. Praying that tomorrow I get the call that we have waited 5 years to hear. I want nothing more then to be pregnant but if it is not God's timing then we will make it through and try again. I don't plan on giving up anytime soon!
Thank you again for all your prayers. Please be praying for Steven who has faith unlike anything I have seen and truly believes we are pregnant right now. And who knows WE COULD BE!
Lord I praise you and thank you for your love and blessings that you pour over our lives. Thank you that you are in control of our lives and know what is best for us. Please calm our hearts as we wait for another 24 hours to hear the news we have been waiting for. Let your will be done. As I type this and am having cramping that does not help me in my thinking, protect my heart. Hold my heart. I will serve you no matter the outcome. I love you Father and thank you ahead of time for the blessing of a child that will come.