Sunday, February 15, 2009

Instincts were wrong.

Wow I really thought I knew my body. Everything about this month seemed different but yet the same outcome. I hate my body for deceiving me. Why have I woke up every morning at 4-5 to pee, even this morning when I waited as long as I could and finally had to get up and test at 6am? Why did my boobs not start hurting until 13dpo? Why did I feel weird sensations? Well it was fun thinking I might be pregnant while it lasted. Shame on me for looking up what the due date would be though. Not sure where we are going from here. We are both to devastated to make a create a plan. The pain is much worse falling from the top, but Steven loved that I was so hopeful...so for that it was worth it.

1 comment:

Becki said...

i am so sorry. but i must say from what i can tell you are handling this really well.
i wish there was something i could do or say to help you feel better...and get pregnant.
i loved seeing you so hopeful. i pray you still have some of that hope left in you somewhere.
i love you. call me if you need ANYTHING.