Just a little update on our plan. I am trying to get back to normal, I am just not sure what normal is. I am doing my best to not be depressed but I feel sad all the time and the pain in my heart is unbearable. I still believe that I will have a baby, as always I just wish I knew when. So Monday I go in and see what side my follicles are on. I need them to be on my right side because that is supposedly my good side. If I have 2 or more on my right side then we may opt to do another(that will be number 5) IUI, if not then we will just opt not to. I plan on asking the RE if he would be willing to do another surgery to see what kind of condition my right tube is in. It would be great to know that because that would determine when we do IVF. If it were up to me I would be doing IVF all ready. I don't believe you can put a price on a baby so I am fine with taking out the loan now. Steven on the other hand is not that ready to do it. He still believes that we will get pregnant without IVF, but I then asked him where he got his medical licence. But we are a team and I want both of us to be ready. So as always I wait to talk with the doctor and see what he is willing to do.
I still cry at everything but I am trying to pull myself out of this a little everyday. Who would have thought trying to have a baby would ever be like this. I just wish and pray my heart stops breaking soon.