Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Day 14 and 15

Am I really this far into it? I think so! So many answers to prayers already and God has brought so much to light. Everyone should fast, I know I will be again.

So far the biggest issue brought to my attention: Why is God not on the throne He belongs on in my life? Abraham waited a long to time for a baby and then God finally blessed them with a baby. They waited so long that they loved and adored that baby. They put that baby before anything else, an "uncleansed love" as tozer would put it. They put Issac before God in their lives. God being fed up with this finally told Abraham to sacrifice his only son on an alter....What?!?!??!?! I know we have all heard this but i have never thought of it this way. I have only thought of the great faith that Abraham had instead of realizing that God was telling Abraham to bring Issac off the throne that belonged to Him and place God back in His rightful place. Yikes! Talk up a jab in the heart. God I am so thankful you brought this to my attention now. I want a baby but I don't want the baby to outweigh you, to be higher then you in my life. And lets me honest, having baby was more important and God and even Steven in my life. I am so thankful to realize this now instead of after having a baby and maybe God having to give me a wake up call in even a more painful way. I am choosing to surrender having a baby over to the Lord. God wants to give us all that our heart desires but He wants and needs to be where He belongs....on the throne of our lives. All the you commit to Him is safe and everything you do not, is not. I commit this situation to you Lord.

Through this I have been able to control my emotions more. I have been asking God to search my heart and remove all jealousy and sadness out of my life. I want to be genuinely happy for others. I want to rest in knowing God is in control and truly in his time alone we will have a baby.

I am excited for the remainder of the fast....I am seeking God's face for all that He wants to reveal to us. Thank you to everyone for your continued support.

A few more photos from San Fran!

Thought this was cool!

It was very Windy!

Have to love Self Timer!!!

1 comment:

Becki said...

loving your updates

p.s. i just googled "hoppers hands" what a cool story! love the picture!